He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hippo gnu deer
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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