A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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