he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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