Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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