Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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