he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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