Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
