i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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