Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
