I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
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