peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Randomize
