I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
