thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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