how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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