In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
