We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize
