Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Do vagina's smell?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
