you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize