He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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