Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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