the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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