were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
please come you make the beer taste better
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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