I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
