Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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