DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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