I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
