you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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