He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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