I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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