Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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