Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
