there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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