Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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