So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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