She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
