we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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