Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
