Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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