Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
wow bdsm is so cute
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
