i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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