I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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