Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We have started to decorate penises.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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