Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Randomize
