I'm so fucking centered right now
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
