He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
