You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
