After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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