His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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