Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize