So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
How's work?
Spinning.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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