I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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