So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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