He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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