I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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