There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
