She's JV to your varsity
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
