Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
