He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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