I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
